A.
"The Critical Importance Of Having A Creative
Outlet"
- By Bob Scheinfeld
In
previous newsletters and messages, I've talked
about my friends Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks who
are two of the world's pre-eminent experts on
relationships. They have a new program called
"The Relationship Solution" they sent
me to review.
I
loved it!
On
the first CD, Gay and Kathlyn talked about something
that had a lot of impact on me and my wife,
and I thought I'd share it with you in this
issue.
In
the CD they talked about how important it is
for the health of a relationship that both members
in a couple have a strong creative outlet, a
way of consistently expressing their creativity.
They explained that if both members aren't able
to satisfy their need for creative expression,
problems will ultimately result in the relationship.
I
never paid a lot of attention in the past to
the need for creative expression because my
work gives me a huge outlet for that, and always
has. But I never thought about it before in
the context of healthy relationships in general,
or about me and my wife in specific.
So,
I started talking to my wife about it and we
had an amazing realization. What was it? That
while I have a strong creative outlet through
my work, and while my wife used to have a strong
creative outlet when she owned and ran her yoga
studio, her ability to express her creativity
after we had our two kids had shrunk to nearly
nothing - and she wasn't as happy as she once
was a result.
After
we had our second child, Aidan, my wife Cecily
sold her yoga studio and took on the role of
"full-time Mom." As she did that,
she put many of her own wants and needs on the
back-burner so she could be the best Mom possible.
The
really interesting thing is that neither of
us really thought about how much had changed
for her.
While
part of her started feeling frustrated and she
clearly wasn't as happy as she once was, she
never actually defined "the problem"
as relating to the lack of creative expression,
and therefore, it didn't occur to her to do
anything to correct that specific problem.
Fortunately,
our relationship didn't suffer seriously from
this dynamic, and thanks to Gay and Kathlyn,
we caught it before any serious problems could
surface.
As
much as we love each other, and as good as we
are together, we absolutely would have had problems
if that dynamic had continued.
Cecily
and I sat down and started brainstorming ways
she could get her creative juices flowing again
while still being the best Mom she could possibly
be. We came up with a lot of ideas that Cecily
is now pursuing.
While
she doesn't want the burden of owning and running
a yoga studio again, she started teaching yoga
classes again at a local studio. She helped
form what she calls a "Goddess Group"
with a bunch of other women in Charlottesville
where we live. She's working on a major gardening,
landscape, and child's play area project in
our backyard. She's looking again at an Internet-based
business she semi-started a few years ago to
see if and how she might develop it further.
And
she has a keen eye on continuing to allow her
creative energy to flow freely and consistently.
We
both understand the importance of this dynamic
now!
Now,
I'm sharing this with you for 2 reasons:
